Socialisation in Home Education: What People Get Wrong
If I had a pound for every time someone asked, “But what about socialisation?” I could probably fund a luxury holiday!
Socialisation is one of the most common concerns people raise when they hear a child is home educated. It’s usually well-intentioned, but it’s also based on a very narrow idea of what socialisation actually means.
Misconception 1: Home educated children don’t have friends
This is probably the biggest myth. Home educated children do have friends. They just aren’t all the same age and they aren’t limited to one classroom.
My children have friends through home education groups, community activities, clubs and classes. They see familiar faces regularly and build real friendships, not just proximity-based ones. They also learn how to navigate friendships naturally, without being forced to spend hours a day with the same group regardless of whether they connect.
Misconception 2: School is the only place children learn to socialise
School socialisation is very specific. It’s age-segregated, time-restricted and often heavily supervised. That doesn’t make it bad, but it does mean it isn’t the only model.
In real life, we interact with people of all ages. Home education reflects that far more closely. My children spend time with adults, toddlers, teenagers and elderly relatives. They learn how to adjust their communication, behaviour and expectations depending on who they’re with.
That is socialisation.
Misconception 3: Confidence is noticed… until home education is mentioned
This is the part I still find jarring.
We’ve lost count of the number of times people have commented on how confident Ibrahim is. How articulate he is. How comfortable he seems speaking to adults and children alike. These comments often come from people who have spent time with him and seen him interact naturally.
And then home education is mentioned.
Suddenly, the conversation shifts. Questions appear about social skills. About whether he spends enough time with other children. About whether he’ll “cope” socially later on.
It’s strange to watch confidence be acknowledged and then quietly questioned, simply because his education doesn’t fit the expected mould.
Just a side note- I went through the school system and I really am not the greatest example of being able to socialise. I really don’t like the idea of meeting new people and talking to them. It’s a comfort thing- it’s not that I don’t like people, it is just how I am. That is something else to consider, everyone’s personality is different and that does not mean there is only one form of socialisation.
Misconception 4: Home educated children miss out on structure and routine
Our days do have structure, but it’s flexible. And that flexibility creates opportunities that simply wouldn’t exist within a school timetable.
Because we aren’t tied to school hours, my children have regular and meaningful time with family. They spend time with grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles during the week, not just in rushed pockets at weekends. These relationships deepen because they aren’t squeezed around bells, homework and early bedtimes.
They also get to experience everyday life as it actually happens. Food shopping, appointments, community events and volunteering all become part of their learning and social world.
Misconception 5: Home educated children don’t interact with different age groups
In school, children are grouped almost entirely by age. Outside of school, that’s rarely how life works.
Through home education communities, my children interact with children younger and older than themselves. They learn patience, leadership, empathy and confidence in ways that aren’t taught explicitly. Older children model skills and behaviour. Younger children look up to them. These mixed-age interactions are incredibly valuable.
The opportunities people don’t see
What often gets overlooked is how much extra social opportunity home education creates.
My children attend clubs, classes and group sessions with other home educating families. They have consistent social circles and shared experiences. They also have the freedom to pursue interests without being limited by after-school hours or term schedules.
They can attend discounted home education days, community workshops and activities that simply aren’t accessible to school children during term time. They are part of communities, not just institutions.
And perhaps most importantly, they have time. Time to talk, time to listen, time to build relationships without being rushed.
Socialisation is more than peer exposure
Socialisation isn’t just about being around other children. It’s about learning how to exist in the world. How to communicate. How to resolve conflict. How to collaborate. How to feel comfortable in different environments with different people.
Home education hasn’t limited our children socially. If anything, it’s broadened their world.
The question isn’t whether home educated children are socialised. It’s whether we’re all using the same definition of socialisation in the first place.